Today December 20th is my birthday!
Thank you for these many years of life!
It was emotionally difficult! In my tender youth, I never imagined that life would have been so psychologically painful. If I had to give a title to the film of my life to date, it would be “It was hard”! But I would add in subtitle “Full of Graces!” Because the harder it became, the more graces I received. Grace has incredibly over-abounded where difficulties have abounded! Let me explain.
The darkness forced me to shine my light. The wickedness of all kinds made me determined to channel the angelic behavior that I wanted to see in the world. The ugliness of a hard heart has made easy for me the choice for tenderness. The ridiculousness of fiction in social networks has pushed me to voluntarily make the choice of openness and vulnerability, as an invitation to others to do the same. The destruction of gossip has made me choose loyalty and develop the character of a person who can be trusted. The absurdity of greed in a world where people want to cash, store, accumulate as much as they can while the wealth of the world is enough to be shared among all of us, made me choose generosity. I gave money, time and energy but also my affection, prayers, and the help of all kinds where it was needed, I hope. Seeing the vanity of the world and the pains it engenders strengthens me in the choice of my spiritual walk to be one with the spirit that I am.
It was hard! Living in the world, this environment that was not designed for the spirit that I am in reality, because spirit and the world/ego are in opposition. But that’s what it’s all about, walking in this world by showing that I’m not an ego. I seem to be in the world but I’m not of the world. And these many years of life have been a journey to disidentify with the ego and its characteristics so that those of the Spirit shine more and more. These years have been to unlearn the ways of the world/the ego, to see its lies and to choose to stop believing, perpetrating and reinforcing them. But rather to teach by my behavior and my way of thinking, all that I would like to learn about me, that I am spirit, child of God, pure and innocent.
This path to unlearning and applying all this has not been easy, and it is here that graces have abounded in a world full of obstacles to peace, love, joy and truth. It was not easy but the graces did not dry up.
“By Grace, I live.
By Grace, I am released.
By Grace, I give.
By Grace, I will release.”
Thus, at each betrayal, the strength to remain defenseless was given to me. At each rejection, the strength to bless. To each expression of hate, the opportunity of love. So, for all these years of life, I am able to say that, “God is my strength. I can do everything through Him who strengthens me. ”
On this anniversary day, I give thanks to the one who gives me the strength to choose (because that’s what it’s all about, TO CHOOSE) who I am – spirit, pure and innocent – and who my neighbor is for me – spirit, pure and innocent.
It was hard because the magnitude of the illusions, hatred, lies, and resistance that were in me was immense! I failed! Frightfully. Shamefully! But I kept moving towards the best version of myself. The same forgiveness that I applied to others, I used on myself. From shit to cleanliness. Much has been done, but much remains to be done. This is also why on this day, I humbly admit that I am still under construction, or to say it more accurately, I am still under “deconstruction”. And THAT, IS HARD! But Grace abounds in me. My heart is full of gratitude as today, again, I remember my so prophetic name. I am (amazing) Grace (Eboué)